Posted in KIMI NO SHIAWASE WO NEGATTEITA, Translated Danmei, Translations

KIMI NO SHIAWASE WO NEGATTEITA 2 : Chapter 1 -Part 2

There was a glamorous group of people at the party celebrating the New Year.

The person in the center was someone I knew well.

I wonder how many people have dressed up with their best clothes to be in his presence, polished up from head to toe and gazed at him with longing in their eyes, wanting him to take their hands in his.

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When the news of his breakup got out, a wall of people begin gathering around him, making him unable to go anywhere. And so, he had decided to have two bodyguards around always trailing close by.

He…Sasanami has changed a bit.

The expression that used to be as calm as spring, was now impregnated with a sharpness that seemed to make one tremble with just a single look.

This made him have a wild and sexy image, but I know the real Sasanami. The one that belonged to her.

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The current Sasanami, who is different from the original one, seems to be like a tightly-knit thread and I’m worried that it will get cut off one day[1].

I know that I am partly responsible for the change in him, and as such, I really have no right to worry about him.

Sticking to both of his sides are the Omega man and the Alpha woman who are rumored to be his latest favorites.

I can’t help but frown at Sasanami for not having much of a taste.

I’m not saying this out of jealousy, but because I don’t hear any good things about these two.

The woman has only the bottom ability as an alpha, so she just leans into more powerful alphas and uses her beauty and her body to seduce them. I’ve heard more than one or two stories of people falling prey to her and having their fortunes eaten up.

I also heard that the man was an expert at pheromone traps, cleverly setting the stage according to his estrus and forcing a lover contract on a wealthy alpha by exposing him to his pheromones during his heat. It seems that he has chosen Sasanami as his next target.

If that’s who Sasanami chooses to keep by his side, then it is fine. As long as he’s happy, I am fine with whoever partner he decides to be with.

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However, looking at the current situation, it is only a matter of time before his surroundings start kicking and ripping each other off to win the right to be next to him.

It’s a situation where you can’t hide away and your opponent is stubbornly chasing after you all over the place.

There are those who openly and proudly states that they have already been with him, saying:” He had chosen me to comfort him”.

And there were those who tried to gain some sympathy by complaining about Sasanami’s coldness, saying:” He slept with me and then just threw me away”.

Even then, the other party is just telling her side of the story, and only the other person involved knows what the whole truth was.

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What I hate about this is that Sasanami is surrounding himself with these kinds of people. People who would unscrupulously divulge such intimate information about their relationship without his consent, and yet, I don’t even have the right to advise him about it.

[You haven’t gotten back on your feet yet, have you?]

That’s how much of a scar I have carved into Sasanami’s heart.

[Sasanami…]

The moment I called his name in my heart, I turned and locked eyes with the man himself.

Looking at the timing, it seems like I was impatient as if my voice had been heard.

I bowed my head lightly, and Sasanami started walking through the crowd towards me.

“Suzunari, you came?”

“Ah”

“You seem to be doing well as usual.”

“Thank you.”

Since that time, Sasanami seemed to recognize me as a friend and started talking to me whenever we meet at a social gathering, just like today.

It is both a blessing and a curse, I try my best to exchange greetings without showing anything on my face.

A blessing because I get to talk to Sasanami even if it is just a mundane conversation.

A curse because my instincts start pulling me towards him, wanting desperately to be with him.

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My estrus as an Omega seems to have completely broken out of cycle.

Even if I had just finished my estrus period three days ago, if I smell Sasanami’s pheromone, my body would go into heat again.

I was relieved that I had been drinking a strong inhibitor in advance while being impatient with my body’s reaction to my soul mate’s presence and disappointed in my own pheromone deficiency, that prevented my scent to be transmitted to Sasanami.

How selfish of me to be disappointed that he can’t smell my pheromone when I absolutely mustn’t let him know that he is my soul mate.

I’m sure I swore not to interfere with his life, I even heard him say, “I’m horrified.”

Somewhere in the back of my mind, am I still expecting a “maybe”?

How despicable of me.

“Suzunari, are you listening?”

“Eh, sorry, what?”

“So, why don’t we go somewhere to relax next time? Both of us are busy with work, but sometimes we need to take a break.”

The two at his sides both threw a sharp look at me. Seeing me talk with Sasanami they wondered “Who is this guy?” and immediately after changed to a proud face.

I’ve made it known that I’m an omega and that I have a problem with the organ responsible for emitting my pheromones, so they both knew about my body and naturally thought that it was impossible for me to be Sasanami’s partner.

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Reassured that there was no way an omega like me, who couldn’t satisfactorily entice with his pheromone, would be able to seduce an Alpha like Sasanami, that person leaned on his arm to show his advantage.

[If you didn’t stare so much, Sasanami would not need to invite me out]

I would never ask him out. But if going out with me for a distraction would help Sasanami’s feelings even a little bit then I don’t mind.

“Yeah, let’s go out sometime.”

After carefully choosing his words according to social conduct, Sasanami just said “contact me” and returned to the busy crowd.

At a later date, Sasanami actually called me to really confirm our plans, and I replied that I was free on the 20th of this month, trying my best to calm my nerves.

He told me he would drive to my house to pick me up, and I waited for that day, counting on my fingers, feeling excited and afraid, like a junior high school student on a first date, spending hours trying to decide on what to wear.

Since then, Sasanami and I have continued to interact with each other. It’s already the fifth time we’ve made plans to go out with each other. He was always the one to invite me out.

At the third time, Sasanami said something like “I feel comfortable with you”.

That doesn’t mean he likes being with me, but that it’s easier to be around the me who doesn’t entice him in a sexual way.

As usual, There was a lot of people around Sasanami, the two people who had been on either side of him at the New Year’s party had been replaced by others before he knew it.

A precious OMEGA friend who doesn’t entice Sasanami by either pheromone or attitude. That is my position right now.

I am very happy that I was accepted as a friend.

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However, my instincts reacted violently to Sasanami’s pheromones, and I suffered from a terrible heat on the night we went out together.

No matter how much I tell myself to give up, my body will go against my will.

It screamed to me that I loved him, that I wanted him to hold me but all I could do was apologize while comforting myself over and over again[2].

The saving grace in this situation is that even when I’m in an intense heat, my pheromones don’t give any smell, unless, your nose gets close enough to touch my neck.

If I take an inhibitor, I will be almost odorless.

Sasanami, who was only a friend, would never bring his face so close to my neck, and therefore would never know that he was my soul mate.

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If he ever found out the truth and showed disappointment and disgust on his face, thinking that I have been pretending to be harmless while I cheated him, I wouldn’t be able to take it, my heart would probably stop.


[1] One day, he won’t be able to bear it and snap.

[2] Relieving his sexual needs.


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Author:

Hello World! I am Neckochan, I am an avid reader and a wanna be writer. This is my first blog where I will be sharing my greatest passions in life with you. I just hope to bring a smile to someone out there <3

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