After saying this, Ji Yan didn’t look back at Lu Yichen anymore. He quickly stopped a taxi, got in and went away.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to look at his face, but rather he didn’t dare to.
He wasn’t brave enough.
A man who he has loved for three years, he couldn’t bear to look at the expression on his face, for fear of seeing pain, but even more afraid of seeing indifference.
How much does Lu Yichen actually love him?
Ji Yan couldn’t tell.
The taxi drove slowly away, and eventually, Ji Yan couldn’t hold back anymore and turned around to look at Lu Yichen.
Through the rear window, he saw him standing quietly in the distance, like a flagpole in the wind, motionless.
He could not clearly see the expression on his face but still, he couldn’t take his eyes off of his thin figure. He kept on watching him until his vision gradually blurred, and he could no longer make out his form.
Ji Yan finally let his tears out. He buried his head in his arms, hugging himself tightly and wept.
There were many reasons for couples to break up in this world; most of them are not because they have come to hate each other, but because there was no more love between them.
Ji Yan cried silently for a long time and when he finally raised his head again, his eyes were red and swollen so he hurried to find a tissue but could not find any in his pocket.
The Taxi driver glanced at him and handed him a box of napkins.
Ji Yan took it from him and bowed his head in gratefulness.
The whole situation felt so embarrassing.
“What’s wrong with you, young boy? Are you heartbroken or do you feel homesick?”
Ji Yan froze.
“Did I get it right?” The old taxi driver said and then smiled: “If it is a love problem, I won’t be of much help because feelings are the hardest thing to understand. But if you’re missing your parents and you can’t go back, just give them a call. It’s not easy to be out here alone.”
Ji Yan instantly realized that he hadn’t been home nor did he call his father for a very long time.
He really didn’t have the face to go back. At that time, he had insisted on staying with Lu Yichen, regardless of his father’s opposition, and decided to leave.
His phone suddenly vibrated, Ji Yan thought it was Lu Yichen, and calmed himself down a bit before looking at the text message.
Yet, the person who sent him the message was unexpectedly his dad.
[What’s wrong? I just saw your post with your friend’s “coupon”, come back home if you are having a hard time.]
Three days ago, Ji Yan had made a post to his circle of friends on Weibo while blocking Lu Yichen from seeing it, the post was just one word: Tired.
Ji Yan suddenly sucked in his breath, his dad was not really a cultured person, he made his fortune by raising pigs in his farm.
Just now, he had mistakenly written the word “circle” as “coupon”. Yes, his father was not an open minded person; he had never once in his life thought about homosexuality so how could he be expected to accept it?
Two years ago, Ji Yan couldn’t understand how his father discriminated against him just like an outsider would.
But now he understands that no matter what, he was still his precious son. Since long ago, his dad took the role of father and mother to raise him to the best of his abilities. He never denied him anything, always giving him the best.
Yet, he had foolishly left him and ran away with a mere kid.
It’s stupid. So stupid.
In this world, other than love, there are obviously other important things that you should cherish.
After getting off the Taxi, Ji Yan gave his dad a call. It was his first time in three years.
His Father’s voice sounded a little excited and not at all reproaching as he had expected it to be, with a soft tone his father asked: “Do you want to come back?”
“Yes” Ji Yan replied as he suppressed back a sob.
“That… Are you bringing that boy with you? Let him come, let me see what he looks like”.
His old man has finally came around and decided to compromise for his sake.
For a moment, Ji Yan just wanted to slap himself in the face.
“No, he won’t be coming with me, we are not together anymore” Ji Yan said trying his best to sound as calm as possible.
“Ah…” a woman’s voice abruptly took over the phone: “Little Yan, you stinky boy, How long has it been since you last called us?”
“So you still remember your have an aunt!…Listen I need to tell you something… ” The woman suddenly lowered her voice and added: “Your dad isn’t doing too well, I came to look after him for a few days. Don’t worry, it’s nothing serious and he has almost recovered.”
“I’m going back tonight!”
“It’s okay. You don’t have to hurry. You know… your dad really misses you. That time when he told you to never come back, he was just angry, he didn’t mean it. How could you take it seriously? You rascal, you are so stubborn. It’s not a big deal. It’s just that the kid was too young. How can you count on him? How can he be expected to be responsible? Two men… Alas!” The woman paused and said: “The road ahead of you is hard, just like walking up the hill in the countryside to gather woods. It’s very difficult and challenging.”
After hanging up, Ji Yan stood in front of his apartment building for a long time without moving.
He felt like a mess. Everything was a mess.
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